Case Study #2
Saving a Relationship
An inability to accept love
Caroline* and Ed* had been in a relationship for almost three years; however the once happy relationship seemed to be slipping away. Caroline’s’ jealously, suspicion and unfounded accusations coupled with Ed’s quick temper and own insecurity in the relationship meant they were both wary about talking through the issues. It was a vicious circle. Their individual insecurities fueled the other – and neither partner communicated how they really felt. The intimacy and love they’d once enjoyed at the beginning of the relationship was being eroded and they were both frustrated and saddened by the situation.
Caroline and Ed still loved each other and very wanted much wanted the relationship to work, but they couldn’t seem to get past all the arguments and frustration.
To complicate matters further, Caroline’s two children from a previous relationship were great friends and like siblings to Ed’s two children. Splitting up was not an option they wanted to take; not only for themselves, but for the four children who now considered themselves as a family.
The couple were on the verge of splitting up when Caroline approached Katie for help. Caroline was 100% committed to overcoming the jealousy ruining her future with Ed, and to making the relationship work. (Although couples often think of relationship therapy as a couple activity, it can also work extremely well even if just one partner has therapy, as this case illustrates.)
At the outset, we really honed in Caroline’s past relationship and the types of men she had attracted. Her poor sense of self-worth had caused her to mistrust her current partner, and in the past attracted her to her lazy, selfish ex-husband. Ed, her current partner, was almost “too good to be true” and so her low self-esteem was sabotaging the relationship because deep down she did not feel she deserved to be happy.
During regression we went back to before she was born, and was picking up signals from her mother and father in the womb. (This is not uncommon in regression as one might believe, as babies are being “pre-programmed” and prepared for the outside world from conception.) Caroline was her parent’s first born, throughout the pregnancy her mother and father were constantly arguing. Her mother was very upset, and angry about being pregnant as she did not want to change her life.
Caroline felt very unwelcome, unwanted and unloved – she simply wanted to disappear and believed she was better off alone. When she revisited this event Caroline could see that her young, inexperienced parents did love her, but were surprised and jolted into adulthood by unexpected pregnancy. She also saw the beginning of her pattern of rejecting love and kindness that had plagued her relationships, including friendships, throughout her life.
Once those misguided feelings and beliefs had been readdressed with a more adult perspective, suggestion hypnosis was used to give Caroline a more appropriate and healthier blueprint for love, relationships and friendships.
Better than ever
During the therapy, Ed and Caroline did split temporarily, but once the regression therapy was completed, we revisited her relationship goals and she was clear she really did want to be with Ed. It took almost two months for them to resolve their issues and get back together, but we are delighted to report, almost 9 months later, that their relationship is stronger than ever.
We’ve moved! we are both so much happier.
Just a quick note to let you know after over a month of hassle with solicitors, we’ve finally exchanged!
Just to think this last December, when we were apart last Christmas and I was really upset, I didn’t really believe I’d get what I was putting on my wish list for 2012. Well, you reminded me that if you put your mind to it you can. I got Ed back, and we’ve finally bought our family house together, and although there’s a lot of work to do, we are both so much happier. And all the kids are really excited too and we’re all looking forward to spending our first (and much happier) Christmas in it.
Thank you 🙂Caroline & Ed, SW London, Case Study*
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